Monday, November 30, 2015

English is Hard

Despite very few people being able to speak English in Zhengzhou, there is a lot of English writing around the city. While sometimes it can be helpful, most of the time it is just entertaining.  This post is a compilation of the best of the English fails I have captured since since arriving in China.  Although I did not include any profane pictures.  You would be surprised with how many little children unknowingly have inappropriate words or phrases on their shirts. 

Only the frishest food sold at my grocery store.

Coming soon to a mall near me.

Don't you hate when you're head accidentally meets something?

I'm already skeptical enough about the milk here.

A logical name choice for a corner grocery. 

By far the best named shop ever to exist. 

Not sure how to feel about this menu?
New restaurant near the school and I obviously am going to try the curry.
I should really buy these to see if they even have cinnamon on them.
No Money.  No Friends.

Korean clothing companies are also confused by English.

The twins wearing tomatobus outfits.  It said "tomato" on their bums.

Seems legit.

A nice gibberish shirt.

Chubbygang 69

Nothing wrong with the English, I just love his facial expression with it.

Even the teachers join in on the fun.

Stay Gold Pony Girl worn by a little boy.

Is this supposed to be a messed up Outsiders reference?

Black Dress sweater?

He has never worn lipstick, at least that I know of...
Where can I buy one of these?

Yes, please.

Not sure if it would be better/worse if her twin brother wore this instead?

Well this doesn't seem right.

Seen this bedding countless times and only just realized it's a knock off.


Translator fail that is just too good.
Stray thoughts:
  • Sorry for the blog silence, been too busy being awesome.  Just kidding, it's been crazy at school and I have been doing some traveling.  Upcoming blog posts will be about going to Xi'an to see the Terracotta Army and also my trip to Hong Kong.  Also, about Thanksgiving and what happens when it snows in China.
  • If you like the above WeChat translation fail then you should get the app. You can message me all the time and see photos that I post fairly regularly.  Nobody seems to pay attention to me recommending WeChat but you really should get it.  It's the best way to contact me.
  • This is one of my favorite buildings in Zhengzhou.  Not sure what it's actually called but everyone seems to call it the Corn Cob.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Halloween

Halloween isn't a big deal in China but my school really embraced it.  We had a two week unit on Halloween and I'm honestly, Halloweened out now.  The staff decorated the entire school and the rooms were decked out with student work.  We even had families come to school one evening to carve pumpkins.  I'm pretty sure the parents were more excited about the pumpkin carving than the kids.  They were getting pretty competitive.

Front hall decorations at school.

The main entrance of the school.

Bat and monster crafts.

The parents hard at work.



Educating my students on the magic of It's a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

My school hosted a big Halloween open house where all the families were invited.  The students (and parents) all dressed up, there was a fashion show, a dance, all sorts of games and activities, and food.  The kids in their costumes were seriously so cute.  They were so happy to get to play dress up all day and had so much fun seeing all the other costumes.  Even I dressed up for school.  I found a children's Elsa costume and crammed myself in it.  The dress is supposed to go past the child's feet but went to my knees.  I might have ripped a seam in one of the armpits... Anyway, just like in America everyone is obsessed with Frozen and just like I hoped, everyone freaked out.  There were at least 6 other Elsa's at my school and we hung out together on the playground.  Sadly I don't have picture evidence of it.

Queen Elsa not wearing her crown.

Elsa with a pumpkin.

Princesses stick together.

The cop giving side eye as he tries to arrest me.

Superman trying out my crown.

Hanging out with a tiny pilot.


An adorable bat.

Cutest little butterfly.

A sullen pumpkin.

Looks like a power ranger but he is some Chinese superhero.

A tiny little tiger.

A pirate in crocs.

A photo shoot for the parents.

Iron Man visited the face painting station.

Each class was in charge of creating a station for the open house.  My classes did feely bowls and a mummy obstacle course.  The feely bowls were in boxes with skinned grapes (eyeballs), spaghetti (brains), soft tomatoes (heart), and pumpkin innards (guts).  The main attraction was the haunted house which was set up in the school's multipurpose room.  It was actually pretty freaky because it was pitch black with a strobe light and all the creepy decorations.  Several kids were crying as they went through and you could hear some startled adults.  This school is for 3-5 year old so I'm pretty surprised with how they decorated it but it was awesome.

Feely bowls set up in the sand pit because why not.

Wrap your child in cloth and have them run through uneven grass in the dark!

A little bat feeling eyeballs.

Getting ready for the fashion show.

An overview of the haunted house.









Stray thoughts:
  • I had a good Halloween overall.  There were a couple bars that hosted Halloween events that were targeted at foreigners.  Chinese people sat in the far sides of the bars watching all the weird foreign people get dressed up and congregate.
  • I miss Halloween candy.  I have been craving Twixes and Butterfingers.  Sad times.
  • It's starting to get cold here in Zhengzhou.  My AC unit has a heat setting but that is all I have until the heat in the city gets turned on later in the month.  So everyone is a little shivery until the official day when the heat starts.
  • The internet at my apartment has been really questionable recently so that is my excuse for such a belated Halloween post.